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annoyed 03/23/2010

Posted by nicklee24 in Life.
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I said I would update later, but while writing this paper I just got really annoyed.

Recently, I have lost the ability to talk to one of my best friends. One of my best friends since high school. A friend in which I confided in, a friend of the opposite sex that I was so comfortably able to express all my feelings to. No, she hasn’t passed away, apparently she’s not allowed to talk with me anymore. It still feels like she has died. I still feel like crap.

How is it possible that I cannot talk to my friend, who I regard to be one of my closest, best friend? It’s annoying me so much, I can’t even focus on things that should be more highly important, such as my homework I have due tomorrow. You know what? This is ridiculous. I still don’t understand why, and no matter how much I try to discover the reasons for it, they just don’t add up. Like I said previously, all I’m hearing is blah blah blah.

Anyways, in other thoughts…

A friend of mine told me that my tone on my blog is just… sad. How can I make this more un-sad? Should I add more exclamation marks and smiley faces?


🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 :):) 🙂 :):) 🙂 :):) 🙂 :):) 🙂 :):) 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 :):) 🙂 :):) 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 :):) 🙂 :):) 🙂 :):) 🙂 :):) 🙂 :):) 🙂 :):) 🙂 :):) 🙂 :):) 🙂 :):) 🙂 :):) 🙂 :):) 🙂

I hope those make up for the posts I have that made me sound… depressing.

Well seriously, I have to get back to this paper.

So until next time I’ll end with this twitter update I found to be funny.

“You know the 5 second rule when you drop food? Well it doesn’t apply to ice cream, yogurt or apple sauce.”


Blah blah blah 03/23/2010

Posted by nicklee24 in Life.
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lately that’s all I’ve been hearing… blah blah blah.

think it’s about time I started listening… more enthusiastically. I know many people are trying to help me, but sometimes I just feel like they have absolutely no idea what struggles I am going through…

surprisingly I actually have been keeping up with my studies. this is historical… I finally got an A on one of my papers. 15 years of school, and I have never received an A grade. Wow.

oh yeah. thanks to oprah, I’ve realized I’m an incubator, not a procrastinator. so HA.

speaking of which, I have a paper to write. due tomorrow. Wish me luck!

yeah… this was quite the lazy post. My next one will be mind blowing. just wait and see. (sorry hubert)

till then,


Stupid… 03/02/2010

Posted by nicklee24 in Life.
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Well it’s officially March now, and who would have guessed, I start out the new month in total anguish, regret, guilt, and a feeling of such stupidity. Now has it not affected myself, but others around me. Why why why??

Well, turns out its my own desires to do what I want, and not what God wants. Why does life have to be so difficult sometimes? Only if there was a simple way of understanding life, but knowing myself, it’ll be a while until I can finally comprehend the truth in how I’m supposed to live. But until then, I’m really stupid.

I’ve made decisions that could result in harsh consequences, and now I’ve come to the fact that the only way I can get past these memories is to give them all up to Jesus. It might seem easy, but it’s not an easy task. I still feel ashamed whenever I bring these moments up, with God, or even with my peers. It’s burdening inside my soul. Don’t get me wrong though, it won’t pull me into a period of depression, anxiety, or anything like that. I’ll be the same person, I’ll just be haunted with these memories for a time period.

I’d like to end with just a song. It’s a song that I listen to when I’m down, and it makes me feel better.