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Stupid… 03/02/2010

Posted by nicklee24 in Life.
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Well it’s officially March now, and who would have guessed, I start out the new month in total anguish, regret, guilt, and a feeling of such stupidity. Now has it not affected myself, but others around me. Why why why??

Well, turns out its my own desires to do what I want, and not what God wants. Why does life have to be so difficult sometimes? Only if there was a simple way of understanding life, but knowing myself, it’ll be a while until I can finally comprehend the truth in how I’m supposed to live. But until then, I’m really stupid.

I’ve made decisions that could result in harsh consequences, and now I’ve come to the fact that the only way I can get past these memories is to give them all up to Jesus. It might seem easy, but it’s not an easy task. I still feel ashamed whenever I bring these moments up, with God, or even with my peers. It’s burdening inside my soul. Don’t get me wrong though, it won’t pull me into a period of depression, anxiety, or anything like that. I’ll be the same person, I’ll just be haunted with these memories for a time period.

I’d like to end with just a song. It’s a song that I listen to when I’m down, and it makes me feel better.

-Nick

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